butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
