I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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