I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize