i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
