Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
