Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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