what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
