o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she told me i tasted like america
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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