I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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