just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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