Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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