I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
