quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize