Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All the doctor said was why
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
