i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were destined to go to rehab together
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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