Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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