FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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