Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
