So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
