he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
