We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
