ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
