Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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