so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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