ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I need moral support for this bender
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
