Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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