i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
