yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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