You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
