its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
