She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
