Ambien. No doubt about it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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