what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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