i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think your dad took our porno
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
