So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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