sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
