i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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