hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
