This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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