somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize