the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
