Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He did a backflip because drugs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
