I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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