I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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