she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
