You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
