Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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