Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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