bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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