So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
