just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
