Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
