dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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