its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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