Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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