WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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