Is it normal to miss your booty call?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
