My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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