Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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